As a new parent, you might hear advice like:
“Don’t feed too often.”
“Try to stretch the time between feeds.”
“Get your baby into a routine.”
These comments are often shared with good intentions by family, friends, or even professionals. But the truth is, this kind of advice isn’t supported by science, and it can make feeding more stressful than it needs to be.
When you try to hold off a feed, your baby cries harder and you begin to feel conflicted about what’s “right.” Everyone’s stress rises, and over time these moments can build into feelings of guilt, self-doubt, or anxiety. Feeding is not only about nutrition; it’s a powerful part of emotional connection and mental health for both babies and parents.
Feeding on Demand is Normal and Healthy
Babies don’t feed on a schedule. Their hunger cues change throughout the day. Sometimes they feed often, other times they go longer, and all of that is completely normal.
When you respond to your baby’s cues and offer the breast when they ask, you’re meeting their biological needs. Feeding on demand supports:
• Healthy growth
• A stable milk supply
• Emotional bonding and connection
• A more settled, content baby
• Lower stress for parents
Frequent feeding doesn’t mean your milk is low or that your baby is “snacking.” It simply means they’re communicating what they need, nourishment, comfort, and closeness.
Why Restricting Feeds Can Affect Mental Health
Trying to stretch out feeds or follow a strict routine can create unnecessary tension.
For babies, delayed feeding can cause crying, distress, and difficulty settling. For parents, ignoring the urge to respond can feel uncomfortable and stressful. You may start to doubt your instincts or feel as though you’re doing something wrong.
Over time, this can contribute to:
• Feelings of guilt or inadequacy
• Increased anxiety or sadness
• Reduced confidence in your parenting
• A sense of disconnection from your baby
Research shows that feeding responsively, following cues rather than the clock, helps parents feel more confident and lowers the risk of postnatal anxiety and low mood.
Breastfeeding is More Than Nutrition
Breastfeeding provides much more than calories. It brings comfort, safety, and emotional regulation.
• Skin-to-skin contact and suckling release oxytocin, which calms both you and your baby.
• Melatonin in breastmilk helps babies settle and supports healthy sleep patterns.
• Feeding offers reassurance during growth spurts, overstimulation, or times of change.
When your baby wants to feed again soon after the last feed, it’s not a “snack.” It’s communication and their way of seeking connection and comfort.
Normal Feeding Behaviour
Healthy infants typically feed between 8 and 16 times in 24 hours, including during the night. Night feeds are a normal and protective part of early development. They help maintain milk supply, support growth, and regulate emotional and physical rhythms. Leading organisations such as the World Health Organization and the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine recommend feeding on demand, both day and night, rather than following a strict schedule.
Responsive Feeding Builds Connection and Confidence
When you respond to your baby’s cues with warmth and consistency, you’re doing more than meeting their physical needs. You’re building trust and laying the foundation for emotional wellbeing and secure attachment.
Over time, this trust supports confidence, both in your baby and in yourself. You don’t have to get it perfect. What matters is the overall pattern: responding most of the time. Each feed, cuddle, and soothing moment builds your baby’s sense of safety and your confidence as a parent.
In Summary
- “Snack feeding” is normal baby behaviour, not a problem to fix.
- Frequent feeding supports your baby’s growth, your milk supply, and your emotional connection.
- Responsive feeding is linked with better mental health for both parents and babies.
- Breastfeeding provides comfort and security as well as nutrition.
- Trusting your instincts and responding to cues protects both you and your baby.
Feeding your baby when they need it is exactly what responsive parenting looks like.
References
Ahmadinezhad, G. S., Karimi, F. Z., Abdollahi, M., & NaviPour, E. (2024). Association between postpartum depression and breastfeeding self-efficacy in mothers: A systematic review and meta-analysis. ‘BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 24’, 273. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12884-024-06465-4
Billings, H., Horsman, J., Soltani, H., & Spencer, R. L. (2024). Breastfeeding experiences of women with perinatal mental health problems: A systematic review and thematic synthesis. ‘BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 24’, 582. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12884-024-06735-1
Grattan, R. E., London, S. M., & Bueno, G. E. (2024). Perceived pressure to breastfeed negatively impacts postpartum mental health outcomes over time. ‘Frontiers in Public Health, 12’. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2024.1357965
Nutrients Review. (2024). From breastfeeding to support in mothers’ feeding choices: A systematic review. ‘Nutrients, 16’(14), 2285. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu16142285
Penniston, T., Reynolds, K., Pierce, S., Furer, P., & Lionberg, C. (2020). Challenges, supports, and postpartum mental health symptoms among non-breastfeeding mothers. ‘Archives of Women’s Mental Health, 24’, 303–312. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00737-020-01059-3
Rivi, V., Petrilli, G., & Blom, J. (2020). Mind the mother when considering breastfeeding. ‘Frontiers in Global Women’s Health, 1’, 3. https://doi.org/10.3389/fgwh.2020.00003
Kent, J. C., Mitoulas, L. R., Cregan, M. D., & Geddes, D. T. (2022). Breastfeeding frequency and milk intake in exclusively breastfed infants. ‘Frontiers in Nutrition, 9’, 913904. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnut.2022.913904
World Health Organization. (2023). ‘Breastfeeding: Key facts.’ https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/breastfeeding
Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine. (2017). ABM clinical protocol #3: Supplementary feedings in the healthy term breastfed neonate, revised 2017. ‘Breastfeeding Medicine, 12’(3), 188–198. https://doi.org/10.1089/bfm.2017.29038.ajp
